Monday, August 14, 2006

Letter to my Unborn

Dear son,

I’m writing you because I don’t want you to have the same shitty unpredictable life as the one I had.

Soon or later you gonna be entering a strange planet, our very earth. Personally, I’d love to be there to hear your heartbeat for the first time, and see the glow on your innocent eyes, nevertheless my psyche keeps telling me that I’ll not make it.

Why? I don’t know son, because some things are better left unsaid.

Son, I know it gonna hurts you deep down to not seeing me around, but I want you to know that Dad loves you so. I only wish there was some way I could spare both you and your mom from this experience.

My beloved son, I don’t know your name yet, but coming into this world is like being dropped into a huge den full of deadly and venomous scorpions. It demands extraordinary dexterity to survive. You might not realize this until you’re much older, but frankly speaking, it’s a damn cold world my son. Enemy territory, as my good friend Sherman always like to remind me.

You’ll learn many lessons in your life; some lessons will be harder, tougher and scarier than your feeble body can bear, but do not freeze when such times arrive, rather keep your head up, stand tall, and be a real man like me, your father.

In simple language, just take it slow my son. Day by day. Moment by moment. One step a time. Just remember this: each moment is just what it is, so don't get depressed about what it should have been, or what it is not. As the America-born author and literary critic of the late 19th century and the early 20th century, Henry James put it, "Live all you can. It is a mistake not to. It doesn’t matter so much what you do in particular, so long as you have your life. If you haven’t hard that, what have you had?"

You’re perhaps by now a little confused and asking many questions that you have no questions of. Questions like, "Dad, if that’s the case, why should I even be born? What the point, dad? Or, how then will I ever make it in this crazy world, dad?"

But don’t worry son, there is no doubts in my mind that you’ll defeat every impediments that stand before you because the genes you carry in your chromosome are much more powerful than the problems you will ever encounter!

Besides, your mama is a very beautiful woman who smiles a lot, enjoys life, laughs uncontrollably sometimes( yes, she really does that); and also think positive. And if you ever become anything like me, then I know for sure son you’ll become a brilliant person.A resilience man. So worry not son, you’ll make it. In fact, I’m sure you’re going to. Why shouldn't you, huh?

Son, if there is one thing I’d love you to be in this world is, one be a critical thinker. An autodidact, if I may. Discipline your mind, question every answer, and strive to be the best in everything that you do. Educate yourself about Philosophy, Spirituality, Math, Science, Geography, and world history. And, if you ever have access to library, then read every relevant book that you can get your hands on. Read, read, read. Take advantages of information technology, too. Study computer Science and high-tech skills. I suggest that you study graphic design too, the very field I had immense passion about. Please son, never lose the will to try new things.

Let me give you an excellent example on this topic, education, before I proceed further, maybe it would help to persuade you on what am about to say, and perhaps might help to capture your imagination a bit, if not to completely conquering your child-like mind. Ah, one of the great minds of information age is a Nigerian guy named Philip Emeagwali (I know you might not know him that well, because I'm sure all you know is about Bill Gates, Steve Jobs and Mark Zuckerberg), but son, I tell you this guy is brilliant! And here's why: he had to leave school because his parents couldn’t afford to pay the fees. He lived in refuge camp during Nigeria’s civil war (Biafra). And at the age of 17, he was awarded a scholarship to Oregon State University and went on to invent a formula that lets computers make 3.1 billion calculations per second. Some people like the former President of United States, Bill Clinton call him "Bill Gates of Africa".

And you know what is funny, son? He was largely self-taught in the field of science and Mathematics until 1974, when he won a scholarship to Oregon State University.

And so, study hard my son! Teach yourself. Follow your instincts and don't ever claim or memorizing things in the classroom. Study to understand.

Son, this is important too.

I know you’re going to grow up and become a very talented, brilliant, and handsome young man, whom most girls get attracted to so easily. But please son (I'm plead to you), don’t let that sorts of stuff sidetrack you.

Because even though I’m a strong advocate when it comes to the question of "free will," here I will argue you my son to save sex for marriage. Don't go out there sleeping with multiple girls for temporally pleasures which last for only 4 seconds. After all, sex is nothing but a state of mind, son.An illusion, especially when it's outside the marriage. You might not understand this for now, but when them girls hurt you and leave you brokenhearted , I'm sure you’ll understand then.

My beloved son, in this planet earth of ours, everyone makes a vote as to the type of the world we have with his/her lifetime efforts. You’ll learn this in History class someday.

You learn on people like Nelson Rolihlahla Mandela, Mother Theresa, Bill Clinton, Martin Luther King Jr, Julius Kambarage Nyerere, Magabe Kibiti, Kalebi Mgomi, Robert Fitzgerald Kennedy, Robert Einstein, and many more who influenced these voting results by stuffing the ballot box with an increase in the number and size of actions for change.I’ll love to see you too involved in making some real and lasting changes to lives of less fortunate people. You don’t have to do so much my son, "Just little things with a great love." See, "It’s like in a movie where you root for a good guy over a bad guy." And so, just root for you to be a good guy in a real life.

In closing let me also address you about the issue of loneliness. It’s true that if you chose to carry my genetic materials instead of your mama’s, you’re definitely going to get lonely somehow along the way. But don’t panic or feel bad when that happen. "There is no such thing as loneliness. Loneliness is similar to darkness. You can go on fighting with the darkness for the natural term of your life and you’ll not succeed. You cannot push it away. There is no possible way to make darkness disappears. All you need is just a small candle to dispel it."

Now, you can chose to create a little illusion to forget your loneliness, but it isn’t going to help you my son. Illusions like--creating a relationship or friendship with someone. Though you can forget for a moment your loneliness by doing that. But just the next moment you’ll suddenly become aware that the relationship or the friendship is not permanent. Today you are friends--who knows about tomorrow? Tomorrow you may be strangers again--hence the pain.

One more thing: Do whatever it takes to become a multimillionaire. In other words, trust nobody else but money. Don’t rely on nobody. Nobody cares when you’re broke, even the very lover of your life. Everybody changes! But if you have money, they all cares, they all respect you. And as you get older, only your money is yours.

My beloved son, I can’t help tears in my heart 'cause I know for sure this is my last piece of fatherly advice to you. Be a good man!

And as I begin the journey that will lead me to the blackout of my life, for you I know there will always be a bright new morning ahead.

May God always bless you son!
Love, Dad